When we started learning about conflict styles, I was sure I had a collaborative conflict style based on the textbook definition. However, after carrying out Thomas Kilmann's conflict mode assessment, something completely different emerged. I also gave a similar test to two people who know me best, my mother and my pastor, and their results actually confirmed the results I received for myself. Everyone who took this test on my behalf said that I had an avoidant conflict style regardless of the type of relationship I had with that person. Below are the results I received from everyone who participated in the Thomas Kilamann Conflict Mode Assessment: Personal Score Mother Shepherd Average Competitive 4 9 6 6.33 Collaborative 1 6 6 4.33 Compromising 10 3 1 4.66 Avoidant 10 8 8 8.66 Accommodating 5 4 9 6My pastor is also a mentor to me. I go to her for all kinds of consolation when I have problems. I know he will always give me good Christian advice. After giving her the test she said I was very easy going but sometimes avoidant. I think I got this because she is my shepherd and I have great respect for her and her opinion of me, so when she gives me advice I take it to heart. Because I care about how he sees me, I often hide parts of stories when I need help. For example, I went to her to ask her opinion on premarital sex and I definitely downplayed how much my boyfriend and I were discussing the topic at the time. I still received great advice and have actually implemented it in my relationship because I know it is very wise. He said: “Often when you ask me for help with something, I feel your reluctance before you say anything. I realize that my position may make it difficult to say exactly how you feel. My mother raised me from birth, so she knows me very well and I feel comfortable saying what I think about things. My mother's scores were revealed to me