The whole "slash" subplot never seems entirely appealing. However, Uncle Salvador is the most distinctive character. He is very quirky and his dialogue is the most engaging. Unfortunately, he too disappears. Furthermore, the flashback regarding the “rod” is neither necessary nor essential. Bonnie has courage and is a good friend, but she doesn't really contribute much to the plot. The dialogue reveals information about the character and plot, although the dialogue is not always engaging. The dialogue on page 11 with the drummer seems a little awkward. There is simply too much dialogue about whether or not Marie wants to sing. If the intention is to be a comedy, the humor really needs to be elevated. Marie makes some sarcastic remarks and tries to use humor to mislead Dario, but it's not naturally funny. The best humor comes from character flaws, as well as physical and visual comedy. Finally, the professional presentation can be improved. There is a tendency to try to explain feelings rather than show them, and some narrative descriptions are vague. Here are some