The way in which the death of a relative in ancient Rome was treated by the surviving family varied over time and social status. However, a common theme appears to be a perceived lack of grief for their children. There were various social conventions and laws that seemed to consider the death of children less important than that of an adult. It is the intention of this essay to argue that Roman parents suffered the loss of their son, but that it is impossible to say to what extent. There are examples of parents who suffer both deeply and less than their modern counterparts. To support this, various primary sources such as epitaphs, letters and stories will be explored to show the hidden pain between the parents. It will be suggested that, although the parents generally held to the Roman ideal in public, they suffered deeply in private. However, some economic and cultural factors mean that Roman parents' attitudes towards children do not fully match their modern equivalents. Historical opinion on how the Romans treated the death of a child has steadily shifted toward the belief that parents actually cared about their child's death. The problem for most historians is that the surviving evidence comes mostly from the elites of Roman society. Therefore it is difficult to make a generalization about all of Roman society since the elites constituted a small percentage of the entire society. In a society overly concerned with others' perceptions of them, it is understandable why much of the surviving evidence relates to the ideal regarding death rather than reality. This is why it is important to look for evidence that reveals authentic emotions rather than the public face that is often shown. from the ideal to the death of the son. Although these examples are few, they indicate the true feelings that Roman parents had towards their children, but expressed in a more private way. Epitaphs and memorial tombs tend to suggest that parents cared less about their children. Yet there was probably a lot of evidence that was not lost, and using the narrow focus of elites to draw conclusions is inadequate. Cost and culture may have led to less heartfelt commemoration by parents. Ultimately, some cultural differences mean that perhaps the Romans did not suffer in the same way as their modern equivalents. Roman parents clearly tended to avoid expressions of deep sorrow in public. This does not mean, however, that privately Roman parents did not suffer as deeply as their modern counterparts.