A common problem I face when I get up is having to make my bed. What's more annoying than the monotonous task done every day, over and over again? Yet every day the sheets react, the pillows flee, the bed itself fights against you. What goal is more noble than to free humanity itself from this ritual, saving 5 minutes for every bed that man, woman and child owns. How much more could we, as a people, accomplish? As a child I was forced to make the bed and every day my mother told me: "Shalom, you lazy slob, make the bed!". Every day I replied: "Please, no, mom... I don't want to!" She always won and I secretly dragged myself to make the bed. Why, when would we have to do it all over again? I tormented my mind day after day; in fact, almost every time I make the bed, I try to think of a way to fix the problem. I finally think I've found it. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Why not make cribs, not beds, the standard? I don't understand the appeal of regular beds. But no, my mother refuses to buy cribs and instead makes dad buy more beds. Because just a few weeks ago we spent several hundred dollars on a huge, awkward bed, when we could have spent less than $100 on a beautiful, perfect crib. It is inefficient to purchase a bed, both monetarily and in terms of time consumption. It pains me to witness this atrocity against humanity. This is a stain that must be cleansed, no matter what the cost. I would gladly sacrifice every single bed in America to replace them with cribs, and it would be more than worth it. We must implement a simple and definitive solution to America's bed problem: mass internment and death camps. The bed is a parasite, sucking the time and energy of our people, and we must deal with it as such. This response may seem evil, excessive, inhumane, but it is absolutely necessary. Building huge furnaces to facilitate their destruction and massive landfills to store their remains will create millions of jobs, helping our economy grow. Recycled metal, salvaged from beds that no longer need it, can be used to fuel America's vast war machine, their fiber skins remanufactured into ropes and their wooden skeletons burned into charcoal and sold. In the future, I can only hope that humanity will realize this threat and eliminate it from us. We say no and let the bed threat spread further. Think about the children. Perhaps, in the distant future, when sentient beds arise and invade humanity (a scenario not too far from the truth, if mechanization and the trend of adding computers to everything continues), our children will ask us “Why didn't you stop of them, when did you have the chance?" Well, why didn't you? But the attentive listener will respond with something like "Well, why shouldn't sentient cradles overtake humanity?" The answer, my dear reader, is that cribs are not custom-made, robotic or waiting to surpass humanity. Beds, on the contrary, are advertisement for a bed capable of raising and lowering, even bending “to avoid snoring”. The fools! How long will it be before they dive even further into techno-heresy, adding a robotic brain to determine when to move to “ better prevent snoring.” And then, why not give him a vocalizer, so as to read bedtime stories at night, in a wicked parody of the perfect human form!.